I’ve talked about the strangeness that is my brain over the last several weeks. Actually, that is part of the reason I started this blog. However, it has now officially gone too far.
It was bad enough that my memory was going bad, someone installed an old-fashioned switchboard, I was being brain zapped, and some one let the air out of my head, but this is over the top. For the last week someone has been randomly rifling through my memories and refiling them. I’m in the middle of a thought, sentence, conversation and all of a sudden . . . . “random chicken”.
What is a random chicken? It is something totally irrelevant to the current conversation, circumstances and/or company. Your brain suddenly makes a hard turn in the wrong direction or is transported to a totally different location. It is really frustrating when this happens and it has been happening a lot lately. Memories and conversations are plucked from who knows where, evaluated and put somewhere else. All this is happening without my conscious mind. The only thing I can think of is that my brain is being defragged.
When you install things on your computer, the bits and pieces don’t always end up all together. When you uninstall things there are bits and pieces left to clutter the space. When you defrag your computer the files are identified, evaluated and organized by program and file type. Incomplete and damaged files are deleted.
The difference with the brain is that nothing ever gets uninstalled. The good, bad and indifferent all go in and stay. A lot of this information gets dumped from our working memory (RAM) onto our long-term memory (hard drive) and forgotten. Sometimes the thoughts gets stuck and run in circles in our brain. Sometimes the information gets jumbled and scattered in our long-term memory.
Some how my brain seems to be going through the defrag process. As each memory, piece of knowledge or conversation is pulled out, evaluated and put away my brain feels a little more calm and clear. The fact that my unconscious brain seems to be handling this fills me with mixed emotions. I’m glad that I don’t have to focus on each memory as it is pulled because some of them are very painful. At the same time, I have no idea how this filing systems is set up. Lately, random words have been coming out of my mouth: I’m sorry. Done with that. Stop it.
Is It Done Yet?
I don’t know how long this is going to be happening. I hope it gets done quickly because random chickens are very disconcerting and distracting. It can also be tiring. In the mean time I have decided to have some fun. More reading, going to the movies and time with family and friends.
Life is too short to be anything but good. That’s what I have decided anyway. Tonight I will be making home-made pizza for my oldest daughter’s birthday. Her husband and daughter will provide the cake. We are going to party tonight!