The hardest thing I have learned is how to be the Tortoise instead of the Hare.  I may not get things done as fast as I used to or I would like to, but I can still get them done. 

Living a quieter and slower lifestyle is something that I have always wanted to do, but it would have been nicer to be given a choice. 

Learning New Things

It’s amazing the things I have learned while dealing with the party in my brain. 

I have learned how to walk on a moving roller-coaster as it corkscrews and loops.  It is difficult but I don’t fall out of my recliner anymore.  I can actually walk without falling, mostly.   

All the walls and doorways in any building I have been in are solid.  I have personally done architectural checks.  (Falling without hitting the floor.)

I have learned that closing my eyes can often make Virgil more unruly.  Apparently, vertigo can get worse without visual cues. 

I have learned that there is not enough cheese in the house to have with my whine.  I started whining for cheese, but Youngest rolls her eyes out loud.  She finally told me what I told her while she was growing up.  “Stop whining and deal with it!” 

Driving on moving roads is a bad thing.  Why?  Because the road may look like it is moving, but the car should not move with it. 

I’m Not Lazy

I didn’t realize how busy I was until I wasn’t.  I often feel lazy and unproductive but, if I try to do things, it takes me days or weeks to recover. 

Doing things in 15–20-minute increments is frustrating when you must rest an hour or more between.  Things that took me an hour now take two or three or four hours. 

It is amazing how much we take for granted. 

• Making cookies. 
• Making dinner. 
• Making my bed. 
• Getting dressed. 
• Vacuuming.
• Running to the store.
• Playing video games.
• Sewing clothes
• Crocheting a daisy.

Even dusting makes me tired.  I still do most of these things, just more slowly.  I gave up the video games, they make me nauseous. 

How I Feel Productive

Youngest and I have started making freezer meals.  We prep a meal for 6 or 8 and then parse it into two serving portions that can go from freezer to oven or pot.  That allows me to make dinner for myself when Youngest is not home.  Though I still eat a lot of sandwiches, crackers and cheese, and peanut butter. 

I still make cookies, but not every week.  It takes longer.  What used to be an hour is now two.  I’m not always capable of taking hot pans out of the oven.  It takes balance and steady hands which are often a problem. 

I still make my bed most days, but I have to rest afterward. 

I can do my own laundry.  It may take me a week to get it all folded, but I feel accomplished when it is done. 

Occasionally I still vacuum, but I have to rest between rooms.  I no longer move the furniture. 

On a really, really, really good day I’m allowed to drive.  No more than five miles.  Back roads only.  In the last year I’ve driven 2 or 3 times. 

I can empty the dishwasher and do dishes most days.

Exercise

This is something that I struggle with.  I need to exercise to get stronger and build stamina, but balance and anxiety are issues. 

Anxiety is the biggest issue.  If my heart rate hits a certain level, my body thinks it is having an anxiety attack.  So cardio is out of the question. 

I go for a walk when I can but require a can.  If I have to use a walker I don’t walk. 

For regular exercises I do them on my bed or the floor.  It’s harder to fall off those. 

Ten minutes is my maximum time.  Otherwise, I am too tired to do anything for the rest of the day. 

Still Causing Trouble

This is important.  Why?  Because life is short.  I’m not talking about serious trouble.  Here are my favorite things to do:

• Run away from home for ice cream, movies, or shopping.
• Running away with friends.
• Sitting outside with a good book and snacks.
• Hot fudge Sunday for breakfast.  More time to work off the calories.
• Playing hooky to read, watch a movie or enjoy a hobby.

I know that these are more mischief than trouble, but it is still fun. 

I do miss the days when I could be the Hare and do so many things.  But I am learning to appreciate a slower pace.  I can focus on what is important to me, mostly my family.