I Thought I’d Share a Story

reading_tentI’ve been playing with a story idea for quite a while.  Occasionally I write down bits and pieces as they come to mind.  This is a short piece that I wrote recently.  I thought I would share it and get some feedback from all my blogging friends.

The Story

It came to be known as the Summer of the Fire.

Waterwood was a little village in the Valley of the Lake.  The weather had been hot and humid since Summer had begun.  This day was different.  The clouds roiled black and menacing in the sky.  Lighting rained down around the little village.  Several trees exploded sending showers of wood and splinters in every direction before bursting into flame.  The lake boiled and steamed as the lightning repeatedly sliced through the water. The thunder was so loud that it shook the ground and you could not hear the dogs barking and howling in fear.

The Gorman clan was huddled in the basement of their 3-story home when the lightning struck the house above.  The shock wave shook the ground under their feet knocking down everyone who was standing.  The fire above them began to greedily consume the house one story at a time.  Papa, Grampa and Daddy looked at each other and all nodded in agreement.  There had been some hard words when Papa insisted on building the basement completely out of stone.  But now the men were glad that they had.  The family would be safe while the house burned down above them.

The fall had not been good for Mama.  The baby was late coming and her water broke as she was helped off the floor.  It wasn’t a slow gradual labor, the pains were sharp and only seconds apart.  Nana and Grama were taking care of Mama and getting everything ready for the birth.  Gramps and Papa sat quietly together each holding a frightened child in their lap.  Daddy was pacing the floor with the smallest child in his arms.  There was no sound except the crackling of the fire overhead and Mama’s laborious breathing as she struggled to deliver a new life into the world.  The storm finally passed with one final bolt of lightning and a concussion of thunder.  As the last echo died away a cry was heard in that basement.  A baby girl was born.

5 thoughts on “I Thought I’d Share a Story

      • I like it. It’s an intriguing beginning and I’m thinking ‘fantasy’ when I read it, but when I read it back, I realized it could be just a normal place. But something in the tone made me think of a fantasy world.
        Another connotation is the heroic quality… Someone’s birth is announced with a thunderclap? That one’s not going to sit still and hush up – she’s going to speak her mind. At least, that’s my impression.
        Do you know Astrid Lindgren’s “Ronja Robber’s Daughter”? She is born during a storm as well… 🙂

        Perhaps it would help if you asked more specifically what you’d like feedback about?


        • I do need to be more specific about the feedback I’m looking for. I haven’t read Astrid Lindgren, but it sounds interesting. It is a fantasy story and the girl is oppinionated and outspoken. It is supposed to be a geneolical quest.

          The fire came from the story of my birth. It was a hot muggy night and there was a fire at a neighbor’s house with firetrucks, noise and observers. To answer the question, no. I’m not a quiet bystander in life. 🙂


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