I know it is late, but I have had an anxiety episode and the backlash that comes with it.
This is the time of year to indulge in one of my favorite activities.
Peeps, the perfect combination of soft marshmallow shapes and a colored sugar-coating. Heaven in a box. It used to be that there were yellow chicks and pink bunnies. Then came purple, blue, green and orange chicks and bunnies. The new colors excited me and I always bought at least one of each animal and color. I could put my children’s favorite colors in their Easter basket. If my children didn’t eat them, I would!
Now they have Peeps on a stick! I think that is so awesome because now you can eat them without getting colored sugar on your fingers. All the colors and same amount of YUM without the sticky.
I admit that many people think me a little strange. While I like marshmallows, I love stale marshmallows. Not just any stage of stale, it must be between 3-6 days stale. Five seems to be the perfect staleness. The marshmallow is still soft, but now it is chewy. This allows enjoyment for a longer period of time. <SIGH>
The process is very simple. Using a sharp knife or fork poke several holes in the packaging. Not huge and do not tear the plastic. The right amount of air circulation is very important. Let sit for 3-6 days depending on the desired staleness.
There is a proper way to eat peeps. First of all you must decide between chicks and bunnies. This is important because they are eaten differently. Then comes the question, “Fresh or stale?” This also has a significant impact on how the Peep is eaten.
First you must select your victim.
Carefully split the chick about 1/4 inch where the body folds.
Grasp the head of the chick between the thumb and forefinger of your right hand. Grasp the tail of the chick between the thumb and forefinger of your left hand.
Gently pull until the chick becomes a straight marshmallow tube. While pulling make soft groans of pain while repeating, “Stop!”
Revel in the flavor of sugar covered marshmallow as you eat the chick from the tail to the head. With each bite make sounds of protest until all that is left is the chick’s head.
Laugh evilly, pop the head into your mouth with relish and bite down saying, “crunch.”
A perfectly stale chick will not stretch as easily as a fresh one. They will often pull apart when the straightening process is attempted. I love to start with the chick’s tail and nibble around to make the base of the chick perfectly round. After this task has been completed I like to bite of the bottom of the chick enjoying the exquisitely chewy flavor of stale marshmallow and sugar. Moans and soft protests from the chick are appropriate. Continue to take bites from the bottom until all that is left is the chick’s head. Laugh evilly and pop the head into your mouth with relish and bite down while saying, “crunch.”
I always start with the ears. Probably a habit from eating chocolate bunnies. Left or right ear, it doesn’t matter which. Gently pinch the ear about half-way down between the thumb and forefinger. Slowly pull straight up stretching the marshmallow until the ear disengages from the bunny’s head. While doing this quietly repeat, “Help me! Stop! Pain!” Putting the whole ear in your mouth slowly draw it out while sucking the sugar off. Eat the marshmallow. Repeat with second ear. Pull the head from the body while whispering, “Not the head! Not the head!” As the head comes away from the body, make gurgling “Oooooooh” sounds. With an evil laugh bite in half, close your eyes and revel in the flavor. Pop the other half of the head into your mouth and repeat the reveling. Repeat with body.
Eat the same way as fresh though more pressure will be necessary. If you have let your Peep get overly stale you may be required to bite or cut it. A knife works better than scissors at this point. Hold the bunny firmly against the operating table, press blade of knife gently downward with no sawing motion while whispering, “Lay still, this will only hurt for a moment.” Grasp the part to be removed and pull. Make sure there is a quiet moan of pain when the ears are removed. Gurgling sounds are appropriate when cutting off the head.
This has been a yearly ritual for most of my life. I have lovingly passed it on to my children. My son is great at the tortured pleas and his evil laugh is beautiful. It makes me so proud. Lucky for me the Easter bunny left several boxes of chicks and bunnies. Time to poke a hole in one package so that they will be properly stale in a day or two. Nom! Nom!