It has been several months since Nic got out and I am finally starting to feel stable again.
It is Easy to Forget
With so much time passing between Nic getting out I had forgotten the long term affects of a severe panic attack.
It does nasty things to my brain.
Words got lost and jumbled.
- I could remember what a word meant but not the word itself.
- Sometimes things came out backwards.
- I would have to repeat what I was saying several times just to get the words right.
My train of thought kept getting lost. It would:
- make a wrong turn and confuse me.
- get totally derailed.
- end up on the wrong track and take me somewhere I didn’t want to go.
I could not focus my thoughts long enough to
- drive a car.
- make dinner.
- play the piano.
- Or even crochet.
My children grounded me for the holidays.
Serious Rest is Required.
It is really difficult to behave and rest during the holiday season. I had to simplify my life and minimize the number of holiday activities.
I couldn’t go shopping by myself. I would take Youngest to the grocery store with me and let her manage the shopping list and make sure I got everything I needed and nothing I didn’t need. I did all my Christmas shopping on line.
There were holiday activities that just didn’t happen this year. Baking was minimal and just enough for us. I did not make goody plates for friends. We did not do secret Santa stuff. Decorating was simply a tree and a nativity.
Youngest Was Mean
Well, not really. She is only 15 and cannot bully me to make me rest. She can, however, tattle. She kept threatening to call Oldest, a daughter-in-law, and my mother if I didn’t behave. She would too.
I was settled into my recliner in the family room with everything I needed and instructions to stay put. I was allowed to get up to use the bathroom and to get something to eat. If I was not in my recliner when she got home from school phone calls were made.
I Thank God for the Eleviv
With the severity of the panic attack that I had, I should have probably gone to the hospital. I would probably have been admitted for an extended stay and completely missed the holidays. I did not.
Eleviv, family and past experiences allowed me to heal at home.
This simple little herbal supplement added to my normal medication is a life saver. Eleviv helps balance the cortisol (stress hormone) levels in the brain. With this hormone stabilized my brain is better able to heal itself.
NOTE: I have discussed this supplement with my doctor.
I Enjoyed My Holidays.
Even though I was grounded and resting this year, the holidays were still fabulous.
I was able to host Thanksgiving in my new apartment. It is large enough to set up an extra table without squishing people together. As the host, I only had to worry about the turkey and pies. All the side dishes and snacks were brought by my children. It was a great day.
Christmas was quiet, relaxing, and fun. What more could I ask for.
Not Doing That Again
I have decided that I don’t want Nic to get out again. Ever.
Will this be possible? I don’t know.
I do know that to do to lessen the possibility. So, I will do the following:
- Keep my stress levels as low as possible.
- Get enough rest.
- Extend my enjoyment of a good book by not reading it in one sitting.
- Laugh as much as possible.
Have a great day everyone.