It has been several months since Nic got out and I am finally starting to feel stable again.

It is Easy to Forget

With so much time passing between Nic getting out I had forgotten the long term affects of a severe panic attack.

It does nasty things to my brain.

Words got lost and jumbled.

• I could remember what a word meant but not the word itself.
• Sometimes things came out backwards.
• I would have to repeat what I was saying several times just to get the words right.

My train of thought kept getting lost.  It would:

• make a wrong turn and confuse me.
• get totally derailed.
• end up on the wrong track and take me somewhere I didn’t want to go.

I could not focus my thoughts long enough to

• drive a car.
• make dinner.
• play the piano.
• Or even crochet.

My children grounded me for the holidays.

Serious Rest is Required.

It is really difficult to behave and rest during the holiday season.  I had to simplify my life and minimize the number of holiday activities.

I couldn’t go shopping by myself.  I would take Youngest to the grocery store with me and let her manage the shopping list and make sure I got everything I needed and nothing I didn’t need.  I did all my Christmas shopping on line.

There were holiday activities that just didn’t happen this year.  Baking was minimal and just enough for us.  I did not make goody plates for friends.  We did not do secret Santa stuff.  Decorating was simply a tree and a nativity.

Youngest Was Mean

Well, not really.  She is only 15 and cannot bully me to make me rest.  She can, however, tattle.  She kept threatening to call Oldest, a daughter-in-law, and my mother if I didn’t behave.  She would too.

I was settled into my recliner in the family room with everything I needed and instructions to stay put.  I was allowed to get up to use the bathroom and to get something to eat.  If I was not in my recliner when she got home from school phone calls were made.

I Thank God for the Eleviv

With the severity of the panic attack that I had, I should have probably gone to the hospital.  I would probably have been admitted for an extended stay and completely missed the holidays.  I did not.

Eleviv, family and past experiences allowed me to heal at home.

This simple little herbal supplement added to my normal medication is a life saver.  Eleviv helps balance the cortisol (stress hormone) levels in the brain.  With this hormone stabilized my brain is better able to heal itself.

NOTE:  I have discussed this supplement with my doctor.

I Enjoyed My Holidays.

Even though I was grounded and resting this year, the holidays were still fabulous.

I was able to host Thanksgiving in my new apartment.  It is large enough to set up an extra table without squishing people together.  As the host, I only had to worry about the turkey and pies.  All the side dishes and snacks were brought by my children.  It was a great day.

Christmas was quiet, relaxing, and fun.  What more could I ask for.

Not Doing That Again

I have decided that I don’t want Nic to get out again.  Ever.

Will this be possible?  I don’t know.

I do know that to do to lessen the possibility.  So, I will do the following:

• Keep my stress levels as low as possible.
• Get enough rest.
• Extend my enjoyment of a good book by not reading it in one sitting.
• Laugh as much as possible.

Have a great day everyone.