Last Sunday was not a good day for me. Nic got out and wreaked havoc in my brain. He has not been so out of control in years.
It was completely my fault. Why? Because I got too tired.
It was Oldest’s 15th wedding anniversary so I took her children over night. They are a girl age 11, a boy age 5, a girl age 2, and a girl age 1.
Before they arrived, I cleaned house and set up the sleeping arrangements.
- My oldest granddaughter had a pad on the floor in Youngest’s room.
- My grandson would be sleeping on my bed.
- The toddler had a pad on the floor in my room.
- I put the pack and play in my room for the baby.
They arrived around 3:30 in the afternoon on Friday. Oldest and husband brought dinner so that I didn’t have to worry about cooking.
The kids played until it was time for dinner and then I fed everyone.
After dinner it was bath time. The two little girls love bathing together in Grandma’s tub. There was lots of splashing and laughing. My grandson also had fun playing in the tub.
Bed time was interesting.
- I got my two littlest granddaughters to bed around 7:30 p.m. and asleep by 8.
- I put my grandson to bed around 8:30 p.m. and told him to be quiet so he did not wake his little sisters. This was pointless. He woke the toddler. It took about 45 minutes for a grumpy grandma to get both children back to sleep.
- Both Youngest and my oldest granddaughter went to bed around 10 p.m.
I got to sleep in my recliner in the living room. About 2 a.m. the toddler got up lost and asking for her parents. She joined me in my recliner and went back to sleep. I enjoyed snuggling her but didn’t sleep well.
Children were up by about 7 a.m. and were, of course, hungry. Grandma made whole wheat, buttermilk pancakes.
Cartoons and toys until lunch. My youngest granddaughter took a nap while I fed everyone else lunch.
After lunch we walked over to the park so that the kids could run around and play. It was great and everyone had a great time. We came home when the toddler got upset because she was not allowed to play on the big kid equipment.
Sweet toddler cried all the way home and wanted Mommy and Daddy.
We spend the afternoon playing, reading, and watching movies until it was time for dinner.
I made dinner around 5:30 p.m., but it wasn’t something that the kids really liked so there were other things eaten.
We had baths again only this time Youngest and my oldest granddaughter gave the two little girls baths and got them into their pajamas.
My grandson was disappointed that they were not going to spend a second night at grandma’s.
When Oldest and husband got home around 8:30 I was ready to send the grandchildren home.
Youngest had to have her driver’s permit before fall break was over. This was a challenge because I couldn’t find her birth certificate. So, I went to get a new one.
To get a new birth certificate I had to:
- Go down to the court house and get a certified copy of the court order changing her name.
- Drive to north Salt Lake City (about 45 minutes one way) and file an affidavit to accompany the court order so that I could get a new birth certificate.
Now that we had her birth certificate, we were off to the DMV. I enjoyed a “quiet” 90 minutes while youngest almost failed her vision test and then passed the written test on the second try.
I had planned on cancelling cookie day because I was tired and fighting a headache, but my niece texted that she and her friends were coming. So, we had cookie day. It is one of the days I look forward to because I love having all those teenagers in my house and listening to them talk and laugh.
Youngest had an appointment with her eye doctor. I have not been able to update her glasses for a while and her vision has deteriorated somewhat. We will be getting new glasses.
This was an errand day.
I filled the gas tank in our car.
I made a major shopping trip. We were out of just about everything including milk, bread, and eggs. According to my grocery list I was looking at about $340. When I checked out it was only $293. I was so excited that I almost started dancing.
Unloading the groceries and taking them into the apartment is tiring. By the time I got home and all the groceries in the house I was exhausted. I divided the chicken breasts into single meal packages and put the rest of the meat in the refrigerator.
It’s Friday. The day I pick up my mother and take her to physical therapy. We enjoy our time together just chatting and laughing. Today I’m overly tired and fighting a headache so getting her wheelchair in and out of my trunk is a little challenging.
I love Saturdays. I get to sleep in and don’t have to go anywhere except harp lessons in the afternoon.
Today I have a horrible migraine. We make it to harp lessons, but I say in the car because my head is going to explode.
By the time we get home I am starting to feel sick.
I am sick. I alternate between chills and sweats. My whole body aches. My gut is terribly unhappy, and I spend way too much time in the bathroom. I am absolutely exhausted, and my head is still threatening to explode.
Today is my physical. Yay!? After seeing my doctor, he sends me down for
- a bone density test because of my hysterectomy,
- an x-ray of my shoulder and elbow because of chronic pain
- blood test
I cancel cookie day because I am still not feeling well.
It is a quiet day. Evening, however, is not.
We have trunk or treat activity in our church parking lot for the kids in our neighborhood from 5:30 to 7 p.m.
From 8 – 10 p.m. we have a horror movie night at our apartment and watch the 1931 Dracula starring Bela Lugosi.
Today is my turn to take my mom out to lunch with her friends. It is fun.
This is not my favorite day.
Youngest has a temple trip with her youth group at 5 a.m. so that means we are up at 4:30 to get ready.
Oldest is traveling out of the country for work and needs a ride to the airport. She has to be picked up at 7a.m. I make her drive because I’m tired. We enjoy the time to visit and laugh on the way to the airport. On the way home from the airport I have to stop about half way and take a short nap so that I can get home safely.
So, if you don’t know what a book hangover is, it is when you stay up too late reading and you are tired and groggy the next morning.
I have been on a reading binge and have had a book hangover almost every day for the last two weeks.
The Panic Attack
So, I got up on Sunday not feeling all that great. I missed church the last week and really wanted to go. I thought I would just go for Sacrament Meeting and then go home. I didn’t make it 20 minutes.
I started feeling light headed. Then the tears came. I got up to leaving the meeting (trying to be quiet) and promptly went into a sever panic attack. It was so bad that I only remember bits and pieces from the event.
- I remember almost falling and having people help me. I don’t know who.
- I remember crying and not being able to breath.
- I remember people being there talking to me and holding my hands.
- I remember having a priesthood blessing.
- I remember asking someone to drive my car home.
- I remember who brought me home.
- I remember people came to check on me later than day.
I don’t remember much else.
Youngest took very good care of me. She made sure that I was eating and drinking. I was not allowed out of my recliner because I was so light headed and dizzy that I couldn’t walk without help.
Recovery Takes Time
That was four days ago. I am still struggling with fatigue and headaches.
I have done nothing but sleep and read all week.
I cannot drive because my brain does not respond quickly.
I cannot get up and do anything around my apartment because my balance is off, and I tire quickly.
I have reached the point in my recovery where I often get myself into trouble. I almost feel good and can do a little bit.
I cannot do much without compromising my recovery. I just have to remind myself that I cannot
- do anything that takes more than 10 minutes
- do anything that requires bending, squatting, or lifting
- walk up stairs or even across the room without becoming dizzy and light headed
- drive a car
I am hoping that I will be able to start doing things by Saturday because Youngest has harp lessons again.
We will just have to wait and see.
I will have to behave myself. That is the hardest part.