After some difficult and very stressful years things are quieting down, sort of. Why sort of? Well because they really aren’t but it has changed. My stress levels are down and a lot of great things are happening.
I am now the proud grandma of eight. Six girls and two boys. I’m so excited and glad that I did not eat my children when they were young. I get to nibble little toes and rock sweet babies. When they are cranky or need diapers changed I can hand them back to their parents. I also get to sleep at night.
Oldest has three children. A girl aged 9. A boy aged 4. A girl just turned 1. She is also expecting another in August. She has decided that she is done since the space between children has been halved with each birth and the last will only be 18 months apart. They live close by and I get to see them every week.
Second has four children. They are all girls ages 9, 7, 4 and 3. They live 10 hours away so I don’t see them as often as I would like. I have skyped with them often. They have their favorite stories and love to show me what they have been up to. It’s been a while since the last time and I need to set up regular times again. I miss them.
Fourth just had his first in January. A boy. I haven’t met my new grandson yet but will get to in about six months. I have to wait for Fourth to get back from his military assignment in Korea. I was going to go visit the baby but Fourth wants to introduce me to his son so I am waiting. Impatiently of course but it is important to Fourth so…. As long as I get regular pictures and video I can wait.
The biggest bonus? I’m the favorite grandparent. How? By being like my grandma. We read together. We spend time rocking and snuggling. I tell them how proud of them I am. I get excited with them when good things happen. I am sad with them with things are hard. We go to the zoo, the dinosaur museum and the water park (I get season passes as often as I can). I have special grandma books and toys for when they come to visit. I may not spend a lot of money on them, but I spend a lot of love on them. They (and their parents) are the center of my life.
My Own Space
I have owned my own home twice. But have shared it with selfish men and up to six children. I have lived with my parents for over 14 years with family wandering through at unexpected (and sometimes inconvenient) times. I now have my own space. It is only a small apartment, but I share it with only Youngest. I have complete control of this small space and can do what I want. Within reason of course.
I now have time to do the things I have been wanting to do. Things for me. I’ve crocheted myself two new sweaters with the yarn I bought four years ago. I’m in the process of designing myself a new wardrobe to sew. I’ve read books from my list. I will be learning social media marketing so I can grow my businesses. I am catching up on my sleep. This may take a while since I have been sleep deprived for over three decades.
This is a new thing for me and I’m not quite sure how to deal with it. I have been using it to actually pass rest and begin the healing process after the loss of my father. I have also been healing my body and mind after years of pushing myself to the edge (and over) of my ability to cope and function. I am enjoying it too.
So while life is not perfect (and never will be), it has taken a good turn. I spend more time with my children and grandchildren. Youngest has my undivided attention even though, as a teenager, there are times she doesn’t want it. I am content.