For those who struggle with insomnia, it is a really big deal. The lack of sleep takes a huge toll on our physical and mental health. I have struggled with insomnia for most of my life.
To Sleep Would Be A Dream
We’ve all been there at one time or another. You are laying in bed and staring at the ceiling wishing you could sleep. Sometimes it is your brain that won’t shut up. Sometimes you just can’t get comfortable. Sometimes it just is. We toss and turn and watch the clock.
It was not uncommon for me to be awake at 3 a.m. Not because I woke up, but because I have not been to sleep yet. I had routines and activities to help me unwinds and (hopefully) start to feel sleepy. Sometimes it would work and sometimes it wouldn’t. Sometimes I could sleep anywhere but my bed. Or I would be dozing off and go to bed only to stare at the ceiling.
As parents we are often short on sleep because our children get us up during the night. I’ve been up for 48 house straight when my 5 children all had the stomach flu at the same times. That is a good tired. I accomplished something. Even if it was just emptying buckets, washing faces and rocking children. I can handle that kind of tired.
However, when you are awake for that long just because you cannot sleep it is a totally different experience. I felt frustrated, irritable, listless and wished for nothing more than a few hours sleep. I discovers that you can actually get too tired to sleep.
During one of the worst times of my illness I was awake for 28 days. I was lucky to get an hour of sleep a day and it was not all at once. No, I could not function. Yes, I did hallucinate a little here and there. No, I was not staying awake on purpose. Yes, I lay in bed for hours on end just wishing I could go to sleep. Yes, I did end up in the hospital.
The Amazing Joy of Sleeping Through the Night
I was so keyed up all the time that I could not let go of my day and relax. My stress levels were just so high my brain would just “keep on going . . . and going . . . and going” like the Energizer Bunny. I just could not let down. Of course, the more I tried to sleep the more frustrated I got and the more frustrated I got the less I slept.
When I started taking the Eleviv, I did not expect it to affect my sleep like it did. Within three days I was in bed and asleep by 11 p.m. I slept through the night for the first time in almost two decades. I just couldn’t believe how good it felt to finally get a good night’s rest.
I still have bouts of insomnia. It is just part of the anxiety and mood swings inherent with living with the fearsome foursome. I don’t have it all the time, though, and that is nice. It has become a rare thing and if I have insomnia, I am still in bed and asleep no later than 1 a.m.