For those of us parents whose children have grownup and left home, life is full of interesting new experiences Hopefully we, as parents, have given our children the freedom to choose their own lives. Children can feel pushed into what we, as parents, want them to do or they make choices out of a need to rebel. The challenge is when our children choose a completely different life style for whatever reason.

As a Mother

I have six grown children who are struggling to find their way in a turbulent and difficult world, I worry about them.

They have all chosen differently than I would have chosen for them and I don’t always approve of their choices. Some of their choices have been heart breaking to watch as they were hurt or found themselves in places they didn’t want to be. Some choices have made me angry as I know that they are better than what they chose.

They are my babies. Pieces of my heart that are walking around outside of me. I want the best for them. I want them to be happy.

I do love them with all my heart and soul. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t care what they did.

I will not stop loving them no matter what they do. I may not like them, but I will always love them. I may not be able to support them in their choice, but I will always support them in who they are.

I will spend as much time with them as I possibly can. They are my children. My reason for being.

So what do we do when our children choose differently? We love them.

We send them goodies and letters when they are lonely. We talk to them in the middle of the night.

We tell them we love them even when we feel like strangling them. Of course, I tell my children I feel like strangling them sometimes. But I always start with I love you.

If we do not approve, we can tell them but then we need to let it go.

We encourage them to be the best they can be.

If possible, we drop everything and rush to them when they need us.

Is it easy? No!

I cannot count the sleepless nights I have spent over my grown children.

With two sons who have been deployed with the army, there have been times when I have been sick with worry. The fear I have felt when I knew that they were in harm’s way. The prayers for their safety.

There were times when I wanted to go beat the living snot out of one child or another for being stupid. Or beat up those around them who hurt them.

There have been times I did not want them to be anywhere near me. I will tell them I love them, but I don’t always like them.

There have been times when I would have given anything to be with them, but they don’t want me. Years of not talking. Not seeing my grandchildren. Not knowing why.

I have had to tell them no when all I wanted to do was make everything better. I cannot always be there just because they want me. Life is not like that. And sometimes we need to let them struggle with the consequences of their choices.

Is it worth it? Yes!

I am proud of the women my daughters are becoming. I have two wonderful sons-in-law that treat the oldest two with respect and do not put up with their crap. Youngest has a boyfriend who encourages her to be her best and picks her up when she falls.

I am proud of the men my sons are becoming. I have beautiful daughters-in-law who are just what my sons need.

I have 12 of the most amazing grandchildren in the whole world.

My children like to be with me. They share their lives with me. (Most of the time.)

What more could I ask for?