So….The last couple of weeks have been a flashback of life before Eleviv.  Why?  Because I ran out.  Very bad.

Used It All

I have been very careful to have extra Eleviv around the house.  At least two months worth.  However, the adventures of the last couple of months apparently used it all up.  With all the extra financial demands I have had to cut my budget to the core just to make it through the month.  I was even required to turn to my church for some groceries.  Unable to afford even the basics I was forced to use my emergency stock of Eleviv.

I had enough Eleviv to get me through the two difficult months for which I am truly grateful.  I wouldn’t have been able to deal with the added stress otherwise.  I still had a two days worth when my brother picked it up for me.  Unfortunately it was three days before he could get it to me.

I Had Forgotten

It is amazing how quickly we can forget unpleasant things.  I had forgotten what a struggle life was before Eleviv.   What a mess the Fearsome Foursome made of my life.  After missing only a single day I was forcefully reminded.  The twins (Ann & Nick) started running rampant.  My anxiety went through the roof and I began having panic attacks again.  After each panic attack I would have a migraine.  Then the chest pains started.  I struggled with the simplest things.  Then the depression hit and all I wanted to do was sleep and stare at the wall.  Daughter was very, very worried.

Incident:  I was making chili for dinner.  I had remembered to buy all the fresh ingredients at the store and knew I had everything else.  As I began putting all the ingredients together I discovered that I was out of kidney beans.  How could I be out of kidney beans?  When we moved out of the house we had at least two cases in our food storage.  I had carefully divided and packed all the canned goods.  I could I have missed kidney beans?  I immediately went through all the boxes of canned goods in my kitchen.  I have everything but kidney beans.  For some reason this caused me great anxiety.  Then I though, “I have to go to the store!”  Panic set in immediately.  Now I can’t drive because it is a very bad idea to drive while having a panic attack.  I put the lid on the pot and put it in the refrigerator.  I was done for the day.  It was only 1 p.m.

All I could think of was, “I hate this!”  I wondered how I had managed to function the decades before Eleviv.  I talked to my mother and she reminded me that before Eleviv I hadn’t known any different.  All my life I had felt that way.  It was absolutely awful.

I Only Missed One Day

The nice think about taking a natural supplement is that the side effects, if any, are minimal.  The down side is that it is out of your system very quickly.  I had been without Eleviv for only a single day, but the recovery was two weeks.  Two weeks that seemed to last two years.  Two weeks of anxiety, panic and depression.  Two weeks of fighting the fearsome foursome.  Two weeks of living in hell.

Daughter was really worried and frustrated with me.  It irritated her that I was such a grump and always exhausted.  After the first week she grumped back at me.  I was grousing about her homework and how much she had left to do to get caught up after being sick and missing school.  She turned to me and said, “I know what I haven’t done.  You could at least acknowledge what I have done.”  I felt like I had just been slapped.  Remembering when I had felt like that I immediately apologized to Daughter.  Bless her sweet heart she gave me a hug and I was forgiven.  She hasn’t said anything about it again.

Feeling Better

The chemical/emotional cycle has now stabilized.  I am back to being me and I am very glad.  So is Daughter.  I don’t miss living with Bip, Pots and the twins.  The havoc they cause in my life is definitely something I can live without.

Hooray for Eleviv.